I always knew I wanted to be a mummy. I wanted at least 10 children! Always wanted a big family and I wanted 7 boys and 3 girls.
I look back on that dream now and think do I want that now?! Hell no! I love my kids too bits but having three children is hard work. I take my hat off to the parents who have more!
My parenting journey so far has been fun, scary and challenging. From nights in hospital, starting school, first steps, first dinner, first smile, first giggle…. The list is endless!!
Some days, I feel like the worst mother in the world. I feel guilty because I want to be selfish. I want to lay on the sofa all day, eating junk food and watching Shameless but I spend my day watching Mr tumble and Go Jetters whilst being used as a human climbing frame. It’s the life that I chose to live. Sometimes I have to hide in the bathroom and cry because they have pushed me to breaking point.
Like I said… It’s the life I chose to live. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I could have a fantastic career with a monthly salary, not having to worry about where the next penny is coming from. But that wouldn’t make me happy. My children have made me the woman I am today. Yes, some days that is an emotional wreck but when my 5 year old daughter throws her arms around me and tells me she loves me and that I am the best mummy in the world, when my 23 month old son gives me a kiss or my 1 year old daughter says “mama” it sends warmth through my heart.
My experience of parenthood is that it is a real roller-coaster ride . You ride the good with the bad. You make mistakes. I say there is no such thing as the perfect parent.