parenting, Uncategorized

Returning To Work

Hi guys,  It has been a while since I did a blog post! I hope you are all well!

So, as you can probably guess, I am returning to work!  I haven’t worked since I was heavily pregnant with Poppy.  The main field I have worked in is Care work which is what I am returning too.

I have worked in a care home and also in the community. I am going to be doing community again because I can choose my own hours to fit around the kids (result!).  I have found a wonderful company who have listened to my needs and have been very, very flexible.  I am really, really excited to be going back…..

So why do I feel guilty?!  Why do I feel so horrible for going out to earn money for them to have nice things?  We have always struggled with money and I now feel i need to step up and bring in some bacon (mmmmmmm bacon).  I shouldn’t feel guilty because I will be working between school hours on the day Douglas is at pre-school and Poppy is now in Year 1.  So it’s only Amber I will be leaving at home, which I think is why I feel guilty.

Amber has been with me practically 24-7 since she was born and she gets upset if I take the rubbish downstairs! How on earth am I going to leave her?!  Obviously she isn’t going to be left home alone, she will be with Daddy and even though she does like him (hehe) she is definitely a mummy’s girl!

I keep telling myself that I am doing this for the children.  I need to tell myself this or I won’t go!  Not because I don’t want to work,  I don’t want to leave my babies.  I need to do this because now they are getting older, they need more things.  They all have birthday’s and Christmas coming up and I want to be able to spoil them rotten! We will be able to go bowling and eat breakfast with santa and I cannot wait!

 

So, if you are a SAHM like me thinking of returning to work…Go for it!

 

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Is Technology Being Forced Upon Our Children?

When I was a child,  our televisions had 5 channels,  our computers did the very basics and laptops were owned by rich businessmen.  We didn’t use technology so much back then so why do we rely on it so much now?

Now we have computers pretty much built into our mobile phones.  You sit in a waiting room or walk down the street and I can bet you £1million pounds (if I had it!) that someone will be sending a text, tweeting or doing an insta story!   I know, I’m just as guilty because that is how we are programmed these days and so are our children.

Poppy, 5 years old,  can work a tablet better than I can!  She got one for her birthday and I made the decision to cap her time as I still want her to be a child.  I still want her to play with toys,  go out for walks and play in the park.  When I visited her classroom a few months ago, they have what is called an interactive board.  It’s basically a giant tablet! They don’t have white boards anymore.  My prediction is in years to come,  you won’t have school books anymore.  Each child will have a tablet and everything will be stored on there.  Their homework will be on there, school reports,  etc.  Which is great…..until is starts to crash or it gets broken.   Then what?!

I have seen 9 years old with the lastest IPhone.  Why does a 9 year old need an iPhone?!  To me,  that is a big no no.  There are so many weirdos out there and there are so many ways that they can reach children these days.  It is scary!! You don’t know who is on the other end of that phone or tablet.

It’s the world we live in these days.  You are judged by what phone you have,  weather you have a tablet.  And it’s sad really but that’s is the way it is.

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My hopes and dreams for 2018

As 2017 is coming to a close, I am thinking about what a crappy year it has been!

Every single year I make a new years resolution but like many, I never follow them through. So this year I thought I would make a wish. Hopefully my fairy godmother is reading.

1. My first wish is to move into our first house. We will never own our own home but the thought of living in a house really excites me. The kids having their own space, a nice big kitchen where we can have a table and all sit together and have quality time together. Asking about each others day.

2. Get myself a car. The last few months I feel like that I have lost a limb. Not being able to go out and do things when I want or need to is so frustrating. Public transport is not an easy thing with small kids!

3. Kick this depression and anxiety! Wishes number 1 and 2 could play a big part in this but it’s not going to happen over night. Its swings and roundabouts really.

4. Get my blog and YouTube channel really up and running. I love doing this and I would love to be able to do it as a career! I want something that is mine, for me!

I just want to be the best mother, wife, daughter and friend that I can be.

Goodbye 2017, let’s take on the new year

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Hyperemesis-The Sickening Story

Uh oh…. It’s happening again!

I reach for the bowl and up comes the sip of water that I had just had to stop my mouth from being dry. It’s painful to be sick and I have wet myself again because of the sheer force.

I suffered with Hyperemesis with all three children. The last two I was admitted to hospital and had to be put on a drip to be rehydrated.

I lost 2 stone in the first 12 weeks of all my pregnancies. I couldn’t eat or even drink properly. Sucking on ice cubes and ice poles were my only relief, even if just for a second.

Whilst in hospital, once I started to feel better and hungry.. Oh boy was I hungry! I remember one morning I was so ravenous, when they brought me round my breakfast, I had never been so excited to eat a bowl of cornflakes! They were the best thing that I had ever tasted! And the little cheese and crackers… I had the care assistants searching the maternity hospital for stray and unwanted packets!

Hyperemesis is an awful illness and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

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Through The Eyes Of A Mother Of Three

I always knew I wanted to be a mummy. I wanted at least 10 children! Always wanted a big family and I wanted 7 boys and 3 girls.

I look back on that dream now and think do I want that now?! Hell no! I love my kids too bits but having three children is hard work. I take my hat off to the parents who have more!

My parenting journey so far has been fun, scary and challenging. From nights in hospital, starting school, first steps, first dinner, first smile, first giggle…. The list is endless!!

Some days, I feel like the worst mother in the world. I feel guilty because I want to be selfish. I want to lay on the sofa all day, eating junk food and watching Shameless but I spend my day watching Mr tumble and Go Jetters whilst being used as a human climbing frame. It’s the life that I chose to live. Sometimes I have to hide in the bathroom and cry because they have pushed me to breaking point.

Like I said… It’s the life I chose to live. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I could have a fantastic career with a monthly salary, not having to worry about where the next penny is coming from. But that wouldn’t make me happy. My children have made me the woman I am today. Yes, some days that is an emotional wreck but when my 5 year old daughter throws her arms around me and tells me she loves me and that I am the best mummy in the world, when my 23 month old son gives me a kiss or my 1 year old daughter says “mama” it sends warmth through my heart.

My experience of parenthood is that it is a real roller-coaster ride . You ride the good with the bad. You make mistakes. I say there is no such thing as the perfect parent.

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My Top Five Stress Free Tips When You Have A Poorly Child

So this week Poppy has had Tonsillitis! And what a long week it has been.

It can be tiring when they are poorly. They don’t understand why they feel that way and can be very hard work which leads to a stressed parent!

Here are my top 5 tips which have really helped me out this week and kept the stress at bay!

1. Dose them up.

This is a very obvious one. I can only guess that most of you are like me, you have a cupboard full of paracetamol, ibroprofen, cough medicine etc. I used to buy all the branded medicine but now I buy the pharmacy own because I found my littlies prefer the taste plus you can get a big bottle for half the price! Just ask at the counter.

2. Let them pick!

We all know when we aren’t well we sometimes don’t want a big meal. Especially when it comes to tonsillitis. As long as they are drinking plenty there is no need to worry. If they are being sick then dairy is a definite no no but if they are able to keep anything down, cereals, yoghurt and jellies with fruit are good and also cold on the throat. Especially ice cream!

3. Fresh air

As long as they aren’t contagious and able to, still try to get some fresh air. Even if it is just a walk around the road or popping over the shops. As you know we all go a bit stir crazy if we are stuck inside to long.

4. Accept help

This week I don’t know what I would of done without accepting help from family. We are all guilty of over loading ourselves and think we can do it all, I know, I am one of them. Let someone take the other children if needed so you can have break and concentrate on the poorly one. Let someone else collect the medication.

5. Lots of cuddles

Nothing beats a mummy/daddy cuddle when you are poorly! They can be unsure why they are feeling the way they do, especially if they are young and just want to be cuddled. Make the time. Sod the housework, that will still be there later. Put a film on or read some books. Snuggle up in bed or make a den in the sofa.

Well there are my five top tips on what to do when the kids are poorly. I hope this helps you as much as it helped me stay stress free ❤️

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Living with Depression and Anxiety: My Story

In light of September being Suicide Awareness month (even we are now in October!) I thought I would write about my, not so much a battle but my story.

I was 14 years old when I took a trip to the doctors and heard the words “you are suffering from depression.” I was put on Floroxatine and had to take one a day.  I was feeling low because I wasn’t doing very well at school, close family had moved away and I had fallen out with my best friend. 

The lead up to the doctors appointment was awful.  I would cry at the smallest thing (I put it down to hormones!!), loose my temper really easily.  I remember one day I got a hairband stuck in my hair and I completely lost it.  I was screaming and crying, literally pulling my hair out.  Worst of all, I put my parents through hell.  Running away and telling them I didn’t want to live with them anymore.  They eventually took me up to my grandad, who had recently moved to the isle of sheppy in Kent which was a 2 hour car journey.  He was the one who convinced me to go to the doctors. 

My moods were up and down for years, on and off the anti-depressants.  Then I became a mummy for the first time.  Everything was fine until I moved out.  I had become very close to my parents and even though I was ready to go, I was dreading being alone.  

My husband didn’t live with me yet so Poppy used to go to stay with him Monday to Wednesday.  It used to break my heart every time she left and I missed her like crazy but it was good that she was spending time with daddy.  For those three days I didn’t bother getting out of bed, I wouldn’t go out or see anyone.  I became very very low.  One day it just hit me that I couldn’t live like this anymore so I went to the doctors.  I was diagnosed with post natal depression. Back on the tablets I went!! 

Things settled down again until I had my 2nd and 3rd baby.  I had these two very close together.  Being we still live in our 2 bedroom flat, we are very cramped.  We are all on top of each other and have literally no space.  The immense pressure to keep it tidy is getting too much.  I cannot keep in top of it.  Everyday is a struggle for us.  

I wake up every day feeling sick, difficulty breathing and feeling like something bad is going to happen.  Anxiety is such a difficult thing to explain.  I feel like I am failing my husband and my children because I can’t give them everything they need.  Although the children are happy and healthy, I still feel they deserve that little bit more.  My depression and anxiety has never been like this before. 

Although whilst writing this there are tears rolling down my cheeks,  I am pleased to write that I do have a doctors appointment tomorrow.  Hopefully I can get myself sorted out so that I can be the best I can be for my family.    I hope this post reaches out to someone, even if it is just one person, to let you know you are not alone.  Please do not suffer in silence.  ❤️

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